I realized today driving back to my apartment after hanging with familiar friends, that I have 1 1/2 months left in the city I currently make my home in. It's the second home I've formed, with love, familiar friends, hobbies, favorite places-- and as I was driving I started composing a list of things I need to do before I leave. While I am leaving and it is sad, it is incredibly exciting to start a new chapter of my life. I am ready to find a new home with a new love, new familiar friends, new hobbies and new favorite places. I look forward to the day where I have a settled home, with a settled love, settled friends, redundancy, predicability, a boring job and evenings filled with nightcaps gin & tonics and re-runs of Jeopardy. But that time, that time, is not
now.
Time is a concept that completely and utterly confounds me, it is constructed by humans and the one thing that we never have any control over, it will progress regardless. I kick the bucket, my temporality will give me a slight nod and a wave, and time still marches forward briskly and evenly.
I know these thoughts were brought on by Billie Holiday and the rain on the freeway. But still, it is a bittersweet moment, letting go of the past, being in 1 1/2 months of transition and flux. Oh time, Billie Holliday, Progression, Goals and Dreams.
All spurred by the following song--
The Blues are so fucking good.
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