or How I'm Stealing an Idea From Amelie
I know this is going to seem strange, but I am going to introduce you to two stolen cats. I am leaving on a trip halfway across the country. 2,300 miles through the midwest is a long fucking drive full of flat lands, bible lovers, wheat, big skies and hot, humid temperatures. No mountains, all red states, all big skies. To liven the trip:
Chong Wang
Chong Wang's narrative is far less exciting than Rampoozle (see below) Chong Wang is a ceramic cat that is supposed to bring you good luck. I have no idea where C.W. came from. I also did not name him. However the story of C.W. is as follows:
My friends in Bellingham live in a cluttered, cute, and slightly kitchy house. For my last several weeks, I just semi-lived in this cute, cluttered home. One day, after much wine and records, and sun, I saw this mysterious ceramic cat perched above the sink. I eyed this ceramic cat for weeks. I tried to devise a way to sneak it out of the clutter. Then on the Fourth of July ( see: Ms. Pepe Lopez) before crawling into bed, I was so bold to sneak this cat into my purse.
Since then C.W. has been to many places:
C.W. in Clayton, Washington
population 134.
C.W. on a Drinking Binge
Somewhere along the freeway bridge in Spokane, WA
C.W. on some classy dame's stomach, getting fresh
Somewhere in Northern Idaho, by a lake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rampoozle
Rampoozle was found one dark, mysterious night on S. Freya Avenue in Spokane, Wa via 2005.
One night, one of my best friends (and travel partner-in-crime) was driving late at night with her boyfriend at the time. While driving, she slammed on her breaks when she saw the outline of a black cat in the roadway. Realizing that the cat did not move, at all, she went out to investigate.
Hoodlums had propped up this cat against a brick and placed it in the middle of the road. Outraged at the angst-ridden youth of Spokane idea of entertainment, she took the cardboard cat and named it Rampoozle.
She then took this cat down with her to WSU for her freshman year of college. It saw many-a-nights of wheatfield debauchery and WoW (that's right, World of Warcraft) playing. From there, it moved with her to EWU where we were roommates.
Here is where the story thickens. We put Rampoozle on our dorm door as decoration. We both had boyfriends at the time, and had a secret code, "Uncle Ralph is eating Chicken Pot Pie" when we didn't want to be disturbed. You know, when we were getting...frisky. This code was obvious. One day, we came back from class to find a blue erect penis tacked onto Rampoozle. To this day, we have no idea who put the blue genitals on the cat, but we can only know what they were meant to signify. We then moved the cat inside our dorm room.
Proof of Rampoozle circa 2006 with the blue penis:
photo courtesy of my friend Jeremiah
EWU- Streeter Hall
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