Blog.

Intermission

This hiatus would like to take a brief intermission to share this fabulous video/song:

Hiatus/Reflection/!

Looking through the 3 last past moths of my blogs, I realize that these have been nothing more than ramblings, with a few decent writings here are there: Ironic Tattoo ,  Cafe in New York,  Airport Ramblings , Academia, this little gem: Digital Literacy and my first real quasi-narration back when I was 19, living on my own for the firs time and settling in moving somewhere new, 19.

I then found this picture:

This is the bed that I slept on when I was really, really poor, sophomore year. Ironically, I will be sleeping on this same bed for two weeks, 4 years later with an entirely different life. I was 19 when I moved here, insecure, scared, shy and I leave 23, confident, accomplished and sassy. As I'm embarking on this crazy adventure- (i.e- moving 2,300 miles away and not looking back once) I have to tell you, friends, I will not be writing blogs for  a while.  I am going to focus in on the future, study for the GRE's, write graduate application essays, see my friends, complete my list of "things to do in the West Greater Seattle Area before I leave" -- move and say goodbye. The only advice that my father has ever given me, "Figure out what you want, and then go get it." And, I did. And, it is good.


I.hate.goodbyes. I am not good at them. I cry. Change is wonderful and exciting, but the goodbye, it is always  awful;  awful when I left the island, awful when I left EWU, awful when I left Spokane and awful now that I leave here.  The goodbyes  have already started from my students, both college and elementary-- and it's sad. I realized I did a  lot of great things this last year, I was just too blind to see them.  I.hate.goodbyes.

In the next month,  I am going to be busy living, focusing on enjoying my 28 days I left in this city, the people here, the places, the comfort, the predictability, the familiar, my loves,  my old home-- and then I am going to get in my car and drive away, watching the isolated city that once was my home fade into my rear view mirror. I have done that before and it is time to do so again. However, it's this time, the now, the time in-between that always gets me, the goodbyes, the transition, the instability, the detachment, the realizing life will never be where it is now again, being ok with not seeing my friends or the beautiful sunsets, feeling good about cultivating a great life here in 4 years and watching it fade as I cruise 60mph South on I-5. 

From now, on, I want my blogs to be eloquent, funny pieces of narration. I love life. I love its instability, its ability to kick my ass, to confuse and challenge, to meet  crazy wonderful characters, to move me, to make me feel... and I want my writing to be a reflection of all these aspects.



Right now, my life feels like a really fierce Pollock Painting

and all I really  want is a Rothko

Until my life feels like a Rothko, I will not be writing publicly. As I have written before, " Every single letter, every single space; the words they are uneasy, the words they are heavy, the words, goddamnit, these words, they are mine."

Fiddling Band.

Starting in July I'm homeless... but for all the right reasons. I cannot wait to get out of the familiar and into something new. Oh please.


life, you are crazy, unpredictable and I love you.

Bitch, be Fierce

Or- What happens when you do not sleep and think about grammar

So I have not really had time to sleep. Inbetween traveling, seeing things, I am spending my free time packing, making lists, living life, seeing friends, writing grad applications, etc. etc. I write, that  Life is chaos and chaos is life" see: Chaos Theory (http://www.imho.com/grae/chaos/chaos.html) or just for the next two months until I am settled in Texas.

In this sleep deprived state, I just realized that it is possible to create sexual innuendos & symbolism with punctuation. (hence the name of the blog).  This is partly due to my graduate applications and the intense writing I have been doing, but I also find it kind of humorous and funny. yes. I do not care if you think I am a nerd.

Semicolons are sexy because they are linking two separate sentences into one
Commas are funny because they often add unnatural pauses of awkwardness
Explanation points are demanding, bossy and in charge
Quotes symbolize control, as in, exact, precise data
Parenthesis are kind of secret, as in they are part of the sentence, but not quite part of the idea, seem to be kind of allusive.

It would also be funny, and really nerdy (and too time consuming) to create funny characters from the ideas behind the punctuations. Like, if a quote dated a parenthesis, it would not work out as the two cannot really exist well together in a sentence. Explanation points and commas would be a nice pair...but eventually they would get bored with one another because the comma would be a pushover.

This is what an English Degree does with your free time... or on breaks from work. i really do despise the rules of grammar and language, and it is fun to work around them, poke fun at them, throw in linguistic theory...

----

Landscape.

I have recently fallen back in love with photographing landscapes. It's easy to take beautiful pictures of aesthetically pleasing things. It's hard to see the beauty in the every day, in buildings we walk past, in signs, in people's faces, in patterns. Photographing has allowed me to explore again.

I have been all over the place as of late, Ellensburg, Seattle, Bellevue, Coolin, Idaho, Newport,Wa, Canada... major cities to isolated canyons with no cell service or internet. I have, in turn, seen a lot of different, contrasting beautiful things.

Enough with the words, here are some things as of late that I have seen that I considered to be beautiful.

Roman Rule!

Forgive me if this seems overly simplified, I've only had 3 hours sleep yesterday and 7 hours in the last 4 days.

Aristotle believed that everything was in a constant state of change towards perfection.

Well, he was a bit more complicated than that, but I am sleepy and my

ideas seem to be in a cozy shroud--a binary form of simplicity.

His ideas where mostly dealing with nature and biological change,

but still, it's a comforting to think that the change we see and do,

and even the change we don't, is moving towards an ideal in the form of perfection.

Perfection was the highest ideal--since everything was always changing and evolving,

it was doing so to be better, to be more perfect. I really like this idea,

even if it is not entirely plausible. (Because it isn't) Perfect will never exist,

it will never mold and take shape in the material realm, ideas can be

perfect, but the world, our reality will never. (Whoa, very Platonic.)

His ideas where mostly dealing with nature and biological change,

but still, it's a comforting thought to think that the change we see, is moving

towards an ideal towards perfection. Life is changing, and that

change is, well, that change is good. (Even if it doesn't feel like it)

I like this idea because my life has taken a complete 180 degree flip

in the last few weeks. Just keeping me on my toes...

I mean, I've finally found time to paint and do the things that truly

make me happy again but I'm also

a)quitting my job now, training my replacement

b)Moving out of my podunk apt. to downtown for a month

c)Then moving back to Spokane for 2 weeks, then moving again.

c)Seeing my brother graduate High School

d)Finding the singular self again

e)Traveling all over the Pacific Northwest...

and to top it all off,

f)Moving 2,400 miles away from the place that I called my home,

but is no longer my home. This includes, finding a new apartment,

a new job, new friends, new surroundings and the ability to start anew,

while maintaining a sense of who I am in somewhere that is foreign. At the

end of the day, all I am going to have is myself. Just think of all that change!

Change is happens fast. Way too fast, But, hey, change seems like it is for the better,

for perfection, for some ideal that will never be attainable,

but is something that we, or maybe just I, will always strive for.

Best to be strived for with a gin & tonic and some vinyl with a sunset and

good company.

Simplicity. Pure and simple.

As I read through this, I am not even sure it makes a cohesive point. But, hell, in a society

based off of points not having points, being their purpose, this seems fitting. Just put

on a good record.