I was told that you don’t complete a “Pub Crawl” successfully unless you have a) puked. b)woke up massively hungover or c)woke up drunk the next day.
Luckily, none of these options were any problem for my friends (or I).
The premise of the pub crawl is to complete a whole bunch of tasks to win, like drinking certain drinks at certain bars, and completing assigned things that you would only do when you’re drunk. Certain things correlated to points, the more points the better.
Here are two ridiculous stories to deter people from drinking:
My friends and I were sitting at the bar. The conversation resembles something like this,
chaz, “Hey, so I need to kiss a beautiful girl to complete the task. I can kiss you on the cheek”
Girl on another pub crawl team, “But, that doesn’t work.”
(awkward drunk pause)
Girl, “Well, its not a kiss unless you use tongue”
Chaz “Ok.”
Girl “I hope you know that I’m Bellingham aristocracy.”
Chaz “Cool”
They proceed to make out. The best part of this conversation/make-out session is that I was sitting right next to him and didn’t even notice what was going on.
I realize girls like this probably have gonorrhea. Men like this probably have dirty dicks. I realize those are vast sexist assumptions.
This ones a little more complicated. The task was to switch uniforms with another team. I see a dude wearing a shirt waaaaaay to small for him that has a picture of a Rooster (or cock) and the word, Blocker below it. Yeah, cock blocker.
I refused to take off my clothes in the bar so I make him take his shirt off and give it to me so I can change in the bathroom. In the meantime, he’s just wandering around the bar without a shirt. It gets better.
I used an old shirt that had a sharpie picture of a Jesus Horse with Jesus on it. So once he put it on, he was walking around with a homemade shirt that said, in cursive, “I <3 my Jesus Horse.” He then asked me what the fuck it was and I had to explain to him why the shirt was funny. I’m pretty sure I sounded like a jackass. Nothing worse than drunken babble about creationists and the biblical narrative timeline.
So, later that night I run into the “cock blocker team” while I’m wearing the shirt I switched with the dude. The girl wants it back. She starts trying to take off my shirt, in the middle of the bar. I pull her away towards the bathroom. She begins to take off her clothes. Note, we’re not even in the bathroom yet, but in some corner of the bar. I’m prude and am afraid the walls are covered with strains of sperm and STD’s. She starts stripping. Her strapless bra slips down and I basically see a half frontal nudity of her boobs. Oh God. She gets her shirt back. I get this way too tight orange tank top.
Later that night on the dance floor I saw her rubbing her ass against a dude. Hella. Rubbing. Not the-lets-get-ghetto freaky; the freaky freaky. The kind of butt rubbing that should be in bed, because (vast sexist comment again) she might be into that. Which is cool, you know? I just don’t want to see it, or the heat that man was packing in his pants. Alas, I saw both.
Saddest part is, I have NO idea who has my I <3 my Jesus Horse shirt.
May 31, 2009
May 27, 2009
w.t.f.
What the fuck, Pakistan?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/05/27/lahore.blast/index.html
On the same note, I found this really sweet movie I watched in high school, "Trinity and Beyond" a documentary about the hydrogen and atomic bomb online (fo' free!) and I'm pretty stoked on watching it.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/05/27/lahore.blast/index.html
On the same note, I found this really sweet movie I watched in high school, "Trinity and Beyond" a documentary about the hydrogen and atomic bomb online (fo' free!) and I'm pretty stoked on watching it.
i.d.e.n.i.t.y. & bildungsroman
Go with me here.
"The minute you or anybody else knows what you are you are not it, you are what you or anybody else knows you are and as everything in living is made up of finding out what you are it is extraordinary difficult really to not know what you are and yet to be that thing."
Gertrude Stein
I am fascinated with the idea of 'identity'--how someone can compose an idea of being a subject. The idea that people chose to represent themselves through writing, through conversation, through details, through rhetoric, beliefs, morals...etc. Being human=awesome.
However at the same time, there is no ONE true identify to anyone, like Stein says, you realize what you are, you are not it anymore as things are always changing. So one minute you are one thing, yet, the next something has changed and you are not it anymore.
Ex-
(A-->B; when you don't actually realize you were A in the first place and now you are B)
This always changing ideology leads to a very fluid identity. So True Identity?
Total Bullshit.
So, in this same thought process, and a slightly more tangible, egotistic and highly symbolic example of this idea in relation to identity:
I took out my industrial piercing today. I don't know why. It seems small and insignificant but really, to me, it represents something much larger. I graduate in three weeks. I have this extraordinarily strong pressure that is coming from something external that keeps telling me to do or be a certain way, to normalize myself to the society.
Total Bullshit.
This piercing hurt like a motherfucker. There was no numbing, no pain killers (thins the blood) just a needle, my folded over ear and 10 seconds of cartilage piercing followed by a rush of blood and intense pain. I couldn't sleep on my ear for the next 3 months.
It was a complete spontaneous decision.
If I were to write my own narrative, a witty bildungsroman style, because my ego needs stroking, this would be one of the scenes that I would want the writer to spend time one. People who read it would wonder how & why it was in there. Then, they'd think about it and it'd be some passage to some normalization.
Micro: Macro relation and symbolism. ( I don' t know if that sentence actually made sense)
So, identity? Fluid and changing and never absolute.
Consequently, Plato might be hurling insults at me as we speak.
Total Bullshit.
"The minute you or anybody else knows what you are you are not it, you are what you or anybody else knows you are and as everything in living is made up of finding out what you are it is extraordinary difficult really to not know what you are and yet to be that thing."
Gertrude Stein
I am fascinated with the idea of 'identity'--how someone can compose an idea of being a subject. The idea that people chose to represent themselves through writing, through conversation, through details, through rhetoric, beliefs, morals...etc. Being human=awesome.
However at the same time, there is no ONE true identify to anyone, like Stein says, you realize what you are, you are not it anymore as things are always changing. So one minute you are one thing, yet, the next something has changed and you are not it anymore.
Ex-
(A-->B; when you don't actually realize you were A in the first place and now you are B)
This always changing ideology leads to a very fluid identity. So True Identity?
Total Bullshit.
So, in this same thought process, and a slightly more tangible, egotistic and highly symbolic example of this idea in relation to identity:
I took out my industrial piercing today. I don't know why. It seems small and insignificant but really, to me, it represents something much larger. I graduate in three weeks. I have this extraordinarily strong pressure that is coming from something external that keeps telling me to do or be a certain way, to normalize myself to the society.
Total Bullshit.
This piercing hurt like a motherfucker. There was no numbing, no pain killers (thins the blood) just a needle, my folded over ear and 10 seconds of cartilage piercing followed by a rush of blood and intense pain. I couldn't sleep on my ear for the next 3 months.
It was a complete spontaneous decision.
If I were to write my own narrative, a witty bildungsroman style, because my ego needs stroking, this would be one of the scenes that I would want the writer to spend time one. People who read it would wonder how & why it was in there. Then, they'd think about it and it'd be some passage to some normalization.
Micro: Macro relation and symbolism. ( I don' t know if that sentence actually made sense)
So, identity? Fluid and changing and never absolute.
Consequently, Plato might be hurling insults at me as we speak.
Total Bullshit.
May 21, 2009
Journal of the History of Ideas
I'm in the library wearing a dress and gold heels. I look over to the shelf opposite from me and there is this whole shelf dedicated to "Journal of the History of Ideas." And, I think I just found out what I'm going to be doing this summer if I find myself unemployed. I've been working/going to school since I was 16. Some time off would be nice. Damnit.
The Journal of the History of Ideas might be the best thing that ever happened to me..
The Journal of the History of Ideas might be the best thing that ever happened to me..
May 16, 2009
Oh yeaaaah. Hippstaaa.
Hipster (urban dictionary.com)
| people in thier teens to 20s who generally listen to indie rock, hang out in coffee shops, shop at the thrift store and talk about things like books, music, films and art. |
So whatever, this post is very hip but if I make you aware of it, you realize I'm not denying it and thus become less hip. Logical? Not really. Ironic? Maybe.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Things that I think are really fucking cool as of late in a very lack-of-english major-eloquence.
YELLOW BIRD PROJECT
This is a non-profit that centers around indie music. Oh.My.Fucking.God. Two of my favorite, favorite things combined into one awesome, helping people, attempt at Emerson Oversoul!! ah! This is what I want to do with my life. So much brain sex(see footnote)/excitement, I just can't handle it.
http://www.yellowbirdproject.com/
Indie Experimental singer/songwriter/badass did a cover of Biggie Small's song "Juicy" I wasn't expecting it to be good. I frumped my eyebrows when I found it. But. Then. I listened to it. Really good. Her voice fits the lyrics in a really strange, unpredictable way.
http://thetapeisnotsticky.com/uploads/2009/05/03-juicy.mp3
San Juans
so beautiful, it defies words.
Star Trek
Unexpected curveball-I've never seen an episode of Star Trek in my life. Everyone, I mean, everyone told me to go see this movie. Usually I just give them the stubborn finger and walk away. I didn't this time. And I'm glad. This movie, for a hollywood blockbuster, was done really well. Except I saw the 40-something nerdy couple next to me making out in the middle of the movie.
Wilco
New album, pretty legit. No Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, but still damn good.
http://beta.wilcoworld.net/records/thealbum/index.php
Tom Robbins
I've almost finished my awesome letter to Tom Robbins. He might be my favorite author. Still Life with Woodpecker=anarchistic, political, strange-sexual themed awesome. (note:The inner English critical analyst just died a little.)
Sexology/Psychopathology
Male psychiatrists would give the women with 'hysteria' (described as being overly emotional and irrational....) "massage pleasure" to calm them down. Um. I forget how little we knew/know about human cognition.
Male psychiatrists would give the women with 'hysteria' (described as being overly emotional and irrational....) "massage pleasure" to calm them down. Um. I forget how little we knew/know about human cognition.
mmmmmmmmm.
footnote: Brain Sex. A term coined for when the intellectual excitement matches the emotional excitement for incredibly nerdy things one is incredibly passionate about.
Ex- "I was read Walter Benjamin *scoffs* and thinking about modernity and art made me totally have brain sex" or " Watching that documentary on the otherness of African-Americans totally made me realize the power structure of the United States in relation to race, hollywood and bureaucratic systems. Brain Sex, (insert name here) total brain sex"
May 13, 2009
Simplicity
This is going to sound horrible. It is going to make me sound bourgeoisie.It is going to make me sound subtly snobby. It is going to make me sound like I have a lot of shit. These things are all true. But, its almost 3 am and as I'm lying in bed I realized that I used to live like this:
There's nothing more than a mattress, a desk and my records. What happened? My room is cluttered right now with stuff. i hate having a lot of stuff. ive always hated having a lot of stuff. Simplicity is easier, less complicated and less cluster-fucked.
Consumerism, Modern Capitalism you are a brutal, unmerciful killer and collector of stuff.
Or at least, you're going to be my fitting scapegoat.
posttext- If Ira Glass and Neil Young somehow were one man, that man would be my soulmate.
Consumerism, Modern Capitalism you are a brutal, unmerciful killer and collector of stuff.
Or at least, you're going to be my fitting scapegoat.
posttext- If Ira Glass and Neil Young somehow were one man, that man would be my soulmate.
May 11, 2009
Glass
Wandering around my favorite store, Boo Radley's I stumbled across a book that was dedicated to nerdy/geeky men women love. I'm going to skip all the reasons why I should of left this on the table sitting next to "How to Court a Man: Jane Austen style" because I didn't. I picked it up.
The first page, was dedicated to Michel Cera. Typical. I flipped through it some more, find Paul Rudd. Ok, ok, maybe this is bad, but not that bad. But then, near the very last page there is a picture of Ira Glass.
And, holy shit, I don't know what it is about this man but he oozes sex appeal. The fact he studied Semiotics at Brown University means we could sit down and talk about Umberto Eco and Sassure. As foreplay. Oh man. Sad fact - he's kinda perfectionist, egotist (two things which I can totally relate to) but he doesn't "have time" for women. Thanks, Ira.
Anyway, so I shouldn't of picked up that book because it was just bad, I mean, bad but I'm kind of glad I did.
The study of Semiotics?
http://carbon.cudenver.edu/~mryder/itc_data/semiotics.html
Sidenote: I'd never thought I'd say being Spokane was a good thing, (because it rarely ever is) but it was. Go figure.
The first page, was dedicated to Michel Cera. Typical. I flipped through it some more, find Paul Rudd. Ok, ok, maybe this is bad, but not that bad. But then, near the very last page there is a picture of Ira Glass.
Anyway, so I shouldn't of picked up that book because it was just bad, I mean, bad but I'm kind of glad I did.
The study of Semiotics?
http://carbon.cudenver.edu/~mryder/itc_data/semiotics.html
Sidenote: I'd never thought I'd say being Spokane was a good thing, (because it rarely ever is) but it was. Go figure.
May 6, 2009
oh yeah i did.
Rewind to Spring Break of my Sophmore year: I stopped smoking, a sudden cold turkey move-a these smokin' sticks are a-killing me- a, oh shit this might give me cancer- my teeth are yellow and I'm obsessed with the cleanliness of them deal. Don't ask. I quit. It's complicated. My logic is flawed in subjectivity and doesn't make sense.
So I quit. One day, I just stopped. I threw away all my cigarettes.
Since then, I have only smoked when I'm very very drunk.
Fast forward to today: I smoked a cigarette. It was beautiful and calming and everything I remember it to be. And hot damn it was delicious.
Rewind to when I was six: [backstory, My mother's a nurse, she's blunt and lovingly aggressive]
I told her I wanted to smoke. I thought nothing of it and went to bed. While she was working her night shift, she gathered photos of lung cancer. I think this might of been illegal.
She came home early that morning and while I was sleeping she hung them all over my room. I woke up to sun streaming through my windows, onto pictures of cancerous lungs hanging from my walls. i lived in the attic so the walls were slanted (like a roof) and so they hung directly in front of your face. If you've never seen a cancerous lung, its disgusting. Seeing them at the age of six is something that'll scar you. Seeing them first thing in the morning, right in front of your face, well, that's something that doesn't really leave your memory. ever.
So I quit. One day, I just stopped. I threw away all my cigarettes.
Since then, I have only smoked when I'm very very drunk.
Fast forward to today: I smoked a cigarette. It was beautiful and calming and everything I remember it to be. And hot damn it was delicious.
Rewind to when I was six: [backstory, My mother's a nurse, she's blunt and lovingly aggressive]
I told her I wanted to smoke. I thought nothing of it and went to bed. While she was working her night shift, she gathered photos of lung cancer. I think this might of been illegal.
She came home early that morning and while I was sleeping she hung them all over my room. I woke up to sun streaming through my windows, onto pictures of cancerous lungs hanging from my walls. i lived in the attic so the walls were slanted (like a roof) and so they hung directly in front of your face. If you've never seen a cancerous lung, its disgusting. Seeing them at the age of six is something that'll scar you. Seeing them first thing in the morning, right in front of your face, well, that's something that doesn't really leave your memory. ever.
May 4, 2009
May 1, 2009
Why
I should NOT type emails while I am on the phone and incredibly sleeping from melatonin.
Game: Find the sublte sexual typo that I sent to a proffessor. a women who likes other women.
oh.god.ahh!
so awkward!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent: Thursday, April 30, 2009 10:01 PM
To: --------
Subject: RAW!
Hey ----
So I was sitting around and all of a suddent Eddie Murphy's video "party all the time" video came on and I remembered RAW! Anyway, I was wondering if you would be kind enough to let me borrow this? I want to see 80's Eddie in your action.
https://outlook.com/owa/redir.aspx?C=c5f90fcaf8d04b7dbfa91daf120c3f57&URL=http%3a%2f%2fwww.youtube.com%2fwatch%3fv%3dm5LX16zia2k <---- eh eh? Oh Eddie. Thanks! -Katherine
-------------------------------------------------------------
clue: I want to see 80's eddie in your action.
NOW, IM JUST BAFFLED AT MY LACK OF EDITING SKILLS.
Game: Find the sublte sexual typo that I sent to a proffessor. a women who likes other women.
oh.god.ahh!
so awkward!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sent: Thursday, April 30, 2009 10:01 PM
To: --------
Subject: RAW!
Hey ----
So I was sitting around and all of a suddent Eddie Murphy's video "party all the time" video came on and I remembered RAW! Anyway, I was wondering if you would be kind enough to let me borrow this? I want to see 80's Eddie in your action.
https://outlook.com/owa/redir.aspx?C=c5f90fcaf8d04b7dbfa91daf120c3f57&URL=http%3a%2f%2fwww.youtube.com%2fwatch%3fv%3dm5LX16zia2k <---- eh eh? Oh Eddie. Thanks! -Katherine
-------------------------------------------------------------
clue: I want to see 80's eddie in your action.
NOW, IM JUST BAFFLED AT MY LACK OF EDITING SKILLS.
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